The magic of women

I’m on a plane back to New Zealand. I spent the last few days in Melbourne speaking at two conferences. Every night I shared food and drink with amazing women. Everyday I got to hear amazing women sharing their stories.

I am so blessed and so grateful to have had this experience. My ing is taking care of me and I got bumped up business class for this flight. Four hours of complete pampering.

Now I happily head home. Filled with ideas and wonder. I am so excited to see my family again. My heart is filled with love.

Thank you so much to everyone who played a part in these last few magical days, it was just what I needed ❤️

You suck

I’m finding it hard to be at peace with myself today. Judgment pops into my mind every couple of seconds.

‘You’re doing a shit job coaching this team because you haven’t spent enough time preparing’

‘You’re failing at your todo list and disappointing so many people’

‘You are betraying your values by not honoring your commitments’

‘You are a crappy wife for leaving your wife on her birthday’

‘You are a crappy colleague for not helping your colleagues’

‘You are weak for melting down and asking for help’

‘You are a crap provider for not having found a rental yet’

‘You’re a horrid wife for not ensuring there is calm and certainty for your wife (who suffers from anxiety)’

‘You’re a horrid dog mom for traveling and not spending enough time with your fur kids’

‘You’re not making time for your physio exercises/ reading/ good meal making’

Fuck me, the list seems endless.

I know this isn’t who I am. I know I’m under pressure and so everything gets blown out of proportion. I know I am loved and doing the best I can.

I am loved.

I am a hard worker.

I am a great coach.

I am an amazing and supportive wife.

I am an awesome dog mom.

I am loved.

I am love.

Time for my ‘ing’

The last few weeks have been busy. And for me that’s not a good sign. I’ve tried very hard to keep doing my inner work and yet outside pressures usually mean that’s the first thing to go.

Luckily I recognize this pattern of self destruction and I’ve got a solution. For me this solution is building pace into my workday so that my workday doesn’t deep into my personal time. Easy to do, but thanks to a stupidly full calendar this calm will only arrive in a few weeks time.

In the mean time, I’m learning to breathe and listen to my ing. (Ing from Gabrielle Bernstein and others). This is bringing peace, calm, clarity and less judgement into my life.

It’s rather addictive peace and calm. I want more. I want to spend more time free writing and meditating. I want to spent more time discovering things that make my tail wag and then doing them more often.

I see now how even though I am not religious I am spiritual. I understand now how all religions are spiritual. In this moment, I am at peace and free 😊

Whoops

So my new one week goals are loads of fun, and having a public holiday in the middle of the week does mess it up! Lol. Totally forgot what day it was and thought a new week had started. Good thing it’s a Friday! And saying that, I was rather excited for my Monday, what a change!

This morning I tried something new. I woke up 30 minutes early and cycled whilst listening to a podcast. My physio said I should free cycle (no resistance) for 20 min a day and I was failing at that. It’s a stationary bike from the op shop (barging price of $15!). Its was fun, I’ll definitely be doing this more regularly.

Have a good day!

Day 2

Day 2 of my new week. The focus is on #nospend which means we can only buy the necessities. No coffee, takeouts etc.

I find myself quite excited about a weekly goal. There are a few more I want to try out:

  • Vegan week
  • Pause and use ‘and’ not ‘but’. More thoughtful considerate speaking.
  • Cycle everyday week
  • Yoga everyday week
  • Learn for an hour a day week
  • No alcohol week
  • No snacks week

Let’s see if I can bring this joy and energy into the dark parts of my day 🙂