So lucky

These last few weeks have been interesting. I’ve tried a bunch of things. I went to a yoga class, it’s was great and got me to try a yoga and meditation class 😊 I also went on a business trip and put me first. Had nice calm breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday with myself, as opposed to grabbing something cheap on the run. I even went for a run on that business trip!

I’m planning on getting back into tennis – yay! And I’m listening to many podcasts which are causing me to find more and more books I want to read!

Today I’m traveling into town just to meet friends and have lunch. How lucky am I?

I am very lucky and very blessed. My life is pretty much everything I’ve dreamed right now. A few tweaks still needed but I suspect that will always be the case 🙂

Listening to the universe

I’m trying to learn to follow my intuition. When I feel an urge to do something or say something, try and figure out why. It’s happening for a reason, and it’s usually in my best interest to pay attention to these prompts from the universe as I see it.

I’m trying to just have faith that the universe has my back and is helping me figure things out and support me. It’s also really difficult when people question everything I do. I know it’s with love and the best intentions. And the already doubtful, insecure me then obsesses for way to long over something.

So for the next few weeks I’m going to do a few things that might seem strange and counter intuitive for me. Because I’m listening and learning and trying a different way. Just support me and be there to pick me up if I stumble with a smile and encouragement (no I told you so!).

The run I took this morning was one of these. I also felt the need to buy a book yesterday called ‘The Kindness Method’. There is a lot more. A LOT! I feel like I’ve tuned into the universe radio station and it’s playing just for me.

❤️

A run!

Today I went for a run! That is a very loose definition, more like a 3km walk with a bit of jogging, and it was awesome 😊.

It was fascinating how difficult it was to get out of bed and put on my running gear. It’s took me about 30 minutes of self argument/phone distraction/dog snuggling before I actually did it.

And then it was great. I saw chickens, cows and even a few humans. I smiled and breathed in the air and nature. I enjoyed every minute. Not once even for a second did I regret it.

I returned home beaming. It has been a long time since I enjoyed something so much with every fiber of my being. A very long time. I felt the old me (pre burn out me) stirring inside.

I thought long and hard about writing about this. Because I’ll probably crash this afternoon and be exhausted. Because it’s just a little endorphin kick. Because who cares. But when you’re down in the dumps and nothing brings you joy even though you are trying (and failing) over and over again… this is a big deal.

❤️

You are nothing short of incredible

This made me smile and relax. It taps imposter syndrome on the shoulder and escorts it out the door.

Mostly I’m super quick to criticize and judge myself. Let’s call that -1 on the scale. So 0 would be being honest and +1 is bragging or tooting my own horn. I think my tally would be deep in the negatives. Occasionally I might be honest but even that feels like bragging to me. I know I’m alone in this. And I wish I understood why I behaved this way.

Now if I contrasts that to how I talk about my friends: we definitely are in the positives. Sure I’m honest, but I also focus way more on the good things and brag on their behalf. Almost as if to make up for them not doing it.

How fascinating. So when I think of myself I think of the negative, the holes, the missing or not so good stuff. When I think of my friends I think of the positive, the great, awesome at, amazing stuff.

Mmm. Why?

Cards and doing good everyday

I picked up a pack of cards with slogans yesterday. My idea is to pick one and capture my thoughts. I’m writing these as if debating them with my best friend over a glass of wine.

Choose to feel good everyday.

Mmm. The first thing that pops to mind is don’t say this to people who are suffering. Sometimes you just can’t choose your way out of a black hole of anxiety and depression.

That said, you can choose to do good by yourself everyday. If you need to hide in a tent, then do that. If you need to sing and skip to work then do that. Honor your feelings, don’t suppress them. Be you. Because all of you is valuable, not just the Facebook and Instagram part.

The more open and honest you can be, the more you enable others to also show up with their whole selves.