I am a control freak.
In the last year I have moved countries, changed jobs, moved house, sold a house, bought and sold a few cars, bought a tiny house, applied for residency, travelled to 3 countries and all over NZ. I was in control at all points.
In the last 4 months my work life has changed causing me to question a lot of things in my life. Simply put, my values don’t align with what’s happening at work. That sentence took 4 months to figure out.
At first I tried to fit in, then I fought it, then I compromised and tried to figure out what it was life was trying to teach me.
Believe me, walking out without a job lined up is just not a financial option and yet I ran the sums just in case. There are only so many days of crying I can endure.
If you know me, you will know I am strong. And yet in the last 4 months I have questioned everything about my abilities and doubted that I should even be in the agile world and the coaching world. That is what a toxic environment will do to you. It breaks you.
Luckily I have figured it out finally. And today I return to work with peace and calm and clarity. This too shall pass and I will find my way again.